Fight and Familiarity
by blackmystique
Summary: Logan likes to fight. It's something he can remember. Scott/Logan/Jean


A/N: Just uploading in order from old to newer. Lalala…I haven't written anything in a while actually, so I might write something new soon.

**Fight and Familiarity**

A big part of the life Logan remembers is fighting. Perhaps that is why he used to do cage-fighting so much. It was a good way to earn money and something familiar. Logan loves the rush fighting gives him. He loves the feel of breaking bones and blood on his hands. As long as his opponent doesn't die or anything. No matter how much of an asshole his opponent is, he doesn't deserve to die. Only people like those bastards that took the children from their beds that night so long ago deserve to die.

Jean died after that. Jean didn't deserve to die, but she did anyway. Logan wishes it could have been different. He can feel the absence of her presence at the school. It isn't hard to, seeing as her fiance seems to have disappeared too. Logan rarely ever sees Scott anymore. Logan hates to admit it, but he kind of misses Scott too. Scott and Logan used to fight a lot, although it was only with words. Logan likes fighting. It's familiar. It doesn't hurt as much. It isn't as confusing.

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Scott didn't show at the scheduled Danger Room session. No one expected him to. The professor asked Logan to substitute for Scott, and he did. That doesn't mean he was happy about it. Logan loved Jean too. Maybe not like Scott did, but the pain was still there. Logan doesn't like it. He doesn't like that it hurts so much and that he misses Jean so much. He doesn't like that it's not only Jean that he misses. Logan misses Scott and their arguments too. He stayed for Jean, but Scott gave him something familiar. Now, there's no familiarity, and there's no Jean.

Logan walked through the halls of the mansion, passing groups of kids on his way. He wanted to talk to Scott. Scott, the leader who no longer leads. Logan and Scott used to fight for the alpha-male position. Now they no longer fight and Logan doesn't feel like the alpha-male at all. Scott appears as Logan heads around the corner.

"Hey Scott, they were lookin' for you downstairs. You didn't show," Logan says, passing Scott, and then turning to face him. Logan initiated the conversation.

"What do you care?" Scott replies, his voice bitter.

"Well, for starters, I had to cover your ass." And deal with Ororo's complaints.

"I didn't ask you to."

"No, you didn't. The Professor did. I was just passing through." A lie. Logan hasn't left, and he wasn't planning to, no matter how much he wanted to. Why hasn't he left yet?

"So pass through, Logan." Scott turns away to leave. Logan doesn't let him. He grabs his arm and waits for him to turn back around.

"Hey, look. I know how you feel." At least, that's what Logan thinks.

"Don't."

"When Jean died..." Because this is always about Jean.

"I said don't."

"Maybe it's time for us to move on." If only Logan really believed that. Move on with whom, anyway?

Scott looks at him for a second, then turns and walks away. A little ways down the hall, he turns and says, "Not everyone heals as fast as you, Logan."

He's gone, and Logan feels like he's been...well, he doesn't know the words to describe it. Logan wants to fight. He likes the familiarity. This time, though, it's the last thing he wants to do with Scott. Logan decides that there's nothing he can do about it, and he instead fights the confusing feelings that have arisen. Why is Logan still here?

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Logan hears the voices. So does everyone around him. There's something wrong. He rushes down the stairs and alongside Ororo, he runs to the professor's office.

"Professor, you okay?" Logan hurriedly asks.

"Get to Alkali Lake."

The first thing Logan thinks is Scott. He doesn't understand why it's not Jean that he thinks first. He doesn't dwell on it. Instead, he and Ororo rush to Alkali Lake. The fog around the lake is thick. Logan can't see anything.

"You don't want to be here." Gee, ya think?

"Do you?" Logan tries to look around. "Can't see a damn thing."

"I can take care of that." The fog clears, and around them, rocks of all sizes are floating.

Ororo starts moving, and Logan heads in a different direction. He sees a particularly large rock, and as it moves out of the way, he sees something that scares and confuses him: Scott's ruby quartz glasses. They float into his hands, and Logan tries to figure out what that means. "LOGAN!"

Logan stops thinking about Scott and runs in the direction of Ororo's voice. "Oh god..."

"She's alive."

"Jean?"

Logan doesn't know how he feels. He's still confused. He should be happy, right? Jean's alive. The reason he stays at the school is back. But Logan isn't happy. One part of his life is back, but the other part is still missing. Logan wants the familiarity. But Scott isn't there anymore.

When Jean wakes up, Logan feels anxious. He's still confused, but now he's thinking more about Jean. His thoughts of Jean don't last long though. After making out like two hormonal teenagers, Logan thinks of Scott. Where's Scott?

He stops Jean, and tries to explain to her that she's different. Jean isn't like herself. Trying to find something to say, he voices the question on his mind. "Where's Scott?"

Jean looks scared, panicked. Logan wants to panic too. Where's Scott? Where's Scott? That's all he can think of. Scott. "Kill me."

"What?" Logan can't. Why? Why does she want him to kill her?

"Kill me before I kill anyone else." And Logan thinks about it that time. Scott's dead. Jean wants to die too.

"The professor can help you!" Logan tells her, tries to get her to understand.

It's too late. The Phoenix has taken over again and Logan is thrown against the wall. They're gone. They're both gone.

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Alcatraz. The island is a mess. Jean is still destroying things. And Logan knows what he has to do. He moves slowly, fighting the pain and the power.

Jean is angry. "You would die for them?"

"No. Not for them. For you." Logan thinks of Jean.

"For you." Scott.

"Save me." Jean.

"I love you." Jean...Scott. Logan isn't confused anymore, because he understands. He kills her and she smiles. She understands too.

Logan has fought all his life. People, nightmares, and his feelings. He still wants to fight people. He needs to fight his nightmares. Logan isn't going to fight his feelings anymore though. Logan loved Jean, and he told her. Logan loved Scott, but Scott died before Logan figured it out. Logan wants to tell Scott, but he'll never get to. Scott is dead.

Logan stares out at the lake. Alkali Lake. They both died here. Jean. Scott. Logan loved them. Logan wants Scott to know, but he never will. When Logan turns away, he looks into the bottomless blue.

"Logan."

Maybe he will. After their first fight, of course. Logan wants the familiarity, after all.


End file.
